GUYZ!!

TIME 4 JERSAYGURL REALATIONSHIP ADVICE!

K so like look at this cuple above, rite?  The gurl on the left iz bein SUPA ANNOYING 2 her dood.  Its like theyre havin a BBQ on the train, cuz shes all up in his grill.  DAMN! Right?? (shop)Rite! (editor note: i wunna hot dog!)

Now, ur polly askin “why is that crazy cowgirl bein so annoyin?”

GOOD QUESTION!

Heres “why”:

Cuz shes prolly got:

1. supa low selfasteem
2. shes got supa large trust isshues
3. shes got an identity crisis complex cuz shes DEF NOT a cowgirl
4. hes wearing supa sexy axe or sumtin

My guess iz itz prolly 1 or 2.  

An now here’s my advise!

Gurlz: U gotta give ur man space to read n breathe n like exercise or put up crown molding or whatever ur man does.  Cuz otherwise u seem desperate.  Like, this picture looks like it’s an ad campaign for H&Ms new line of “desperate girl halloween-type clothes.”  

And all fashiun advise aside, this girl iz gunna looze her guy if she dusn’t ease up.  U gotta make em want you.  Like, for instance, there wuz a brownie on the counter this mornin and my roommate asked if she could have it n i said yes n now its not there nemore I WANT IT SO BAD.  ITS LIKE LITERALLY ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT.   I’m ending this post now so i can go to shoprite n get browniez! DAMN!

Luv ewe!

DUNT FORGET U CAN SUBMIT DATING QUESTIUNS IN THE “ASK” SEXTION!

-Stef(ani)

I HAD SUM MEDICAL ISHUEZ I HAD 2 ATTEND 2!  BUT ALL THE REDDNESS IS GONE NOW!!!!!!! N IM BAAAKK ON THE INTERNET!!!!! LUV U!!! NOT 4 REAL!!!!

OMG!! HAVE U SEEN THIS CLIP??

THERES A SHIT TON GOIN ON.

1. SAMMI FINALLY HAS A PERSONALITY - ALBEIT A SUPER IDIOT (OMG WHERED I LEARN ALBEIT???) PERSONALITY

2. WHO HITS A GIRL WITH TWO HANDS??? - LIKE SUPER WEIRD TECHNIQUE JWOWW - BUT IT LOOKED FUNNY SO I LIKE IT

3. SNOOKI IS SO SO THE LITTLEST LITTLE - SHE LOOKS LIKE SHES JUSS GOT DONE BJ-IN SUMONE AND IS STILL STANDIN ON HER KNEES THIS WHOLE TIME

LUV U (PLATONICALLY)!

Stef(ani)

OBVIOUSLY N SRSLYN LEGIT U PROB COULDNT MAKE IT HERE.  UNLESS U SHOULD PROB LIVE IN LIKE SUSSEX COUNTY WHERE THERES ALL THE NATURE N STUFF.

Hay u guyz! Im sew freakin sorry bc Ive been a real super bad internet person recently.  I have like super neglected my internet duties of puttin shit on the internet.  IM SUPER SUPER REAL SORRY!!!!

Ive been partyin a lot n goin to the beach n eatin n goin to the diner n dancin n dancin at the diner n lookin at my friends dogs n pettin ‘em n getting my nails painted n bangin (respectfully) n gettin extensions (THEY LOOK BANGIN OMG SRSLY NOT EVEN A JOKE!!!!!) n doin other thing aside from doin the internetz. 

But Im back!  K?!  N Im gonna post awsum things n advice n shit like that!

So to start off….

ASK ME NETHING U NEED ADVICE ABOUT N ILL GIVE IT TO U SO GOOD!!!

SRSLY LOVE YOU!

Stef(ani)

u guyz! i basically had like a supa awsum day yesterday on account a i got RETWEETED by @myperiod!  BANGIN!!!!!!

mustanghalle:

all hail the littlest diva

GIT IT GUUURL! SRSLY! UR HAIR STILL LOOX SEXI N BANGIN!!! 

1.  u will kno on account a i’ll straight up be like “i wanna bang u”

2.  neway thats not dumb or tacky or real dumb

3. u’ll kno on account a i’ll be straight up like “buy me that ring”

BANGIN SNACK OF THE DAY!!!! DAMN!!

Why I luv em: they’re SRSLY AWSUM!!

Whats bad about em: they stain ya fingers yellowish

Ratin: 3 DAMNS

Hey BITCHERZ!! 

Ok so I think this is prolly like a super common problem 4 a lot people.  But I gotta solution that u can use that’s relatively inexpensive.  

Heres wut u need:

• ice tray
• nyquil
• vodka

Heres the steps:

1. First step is fill the ice tray wit nyquil.  I kno - GENIOUS!!! 
2. Let the nyquil freeze.  I suggest doin sumthin like watchin a movie or paintin ur nails or teachin ur hampster to paint ur nails to pass the time.
3. Make yaself a vodka on the rocks, but the nyquil is the rocks!
4. DONE

I can honestly say from experience that two of these cocktails will knock u out all nite.  U literally will not remember or feel nething on account of u sleepin super hard.  

Also I suggest that u lock ur front door n hide ur keys from urself to avoid ne accidental sleepwalking that may lead to u dry humpin ur neighbors door knob in ya sleep.

Hope this wuz inspirashunal!!!!!

Luv u!!!

Stef(ani)